A frail old man is put in to a care home by his family.
They visit him a few days later and as they are talking he starts leaning to the left.
A nurse quickly runs over and props him up straight.
A little while later he starts leaning to the right, again the nurse runs over and props him up again.
The family, impressed by the care he seems to be receiving then ask him how he likes the place, to which he replies,
“It’s quite nice but the only thing I don’t like is that they don’t let you fart”
A man had been drinking at the bar
The male teacher in a girls school asked
One day, he told his problem to a friend he worked with at Walmart.
His friend told him, “There is a possibility to make the truck easier to sell, but it’s not legal.”
“That doesn’t matter,” replied Billy Bob, “I really need to sell the truck.”
“Okay,” said Billy Bob’s friend.
“Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a repair shop tell him I sent you and he will turn the odometer in your truck back to 50,000 miles then it should not be a problem to sell it anymore.”
The following weekend, Billy Bob made the trip to the mechanic.
Two weeks later the friend asked Billy Bob, “Did you sell your truck?”
“No,” replied Billy Bob, “Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!”
A milkman who is dying in the hospital
I joined an online dating site and met a girl
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year grandson.
The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.
The family ate together at the table.
But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult.
Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.
When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
“We must do something about Grandfather,” said the son.
“I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor”.
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed their dinners together.
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.
When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.
Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.
The four-year-old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.
He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?”
Just as sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when you get old.”
The four year old smiled and went back to work.
The words so struck the parents that they were speechless.
Then tears started to stream down their cheeks.
Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done that evening the husband took Grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family and for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.
Children are remarkably perceptive their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb.
If they see us patiently provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives.
The wise parent realizes that every day that building blocks are being laid for the child’s future.
The Magical Lamp
A Woman Writes In To A Men’s Helpline
A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, “What are you doing?”
“I’m going to commit suicide,” she says.
While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks,
“Well, before you jump, why don’t you give me a kiss?”
She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss.
After she’s finished, the tough, hairy biker says,
“Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had!
That’s a real talent you’re wasting.
You could be famous.
Why are you committing suicide?”
“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.
My kid and I were in a crowded public restroom
A man and woman had been married
A small boy Little Johnny was awoken in the middle of the night by strange noises from his parent’s room, and he decided to investigate.
As he entered their bedroom, he was shocked to see his mom and dad shagging for all they were worth.
“DAD!” he shouted.
“What are you doing?”
“It’s ok,” his father replied.
“Your mother wants a baby, that’s all.”
The Little Johnny, excited at the prospect of a new baby brother, was pleased and went back to bed with a smile on his face.
Weeks later, the little Johnny was walking past the bathroom and was shocked to discover his mother giving oral gratification to his father.
“DAD!” he shouted.
“What are you doing now?”
“Son, there’s been a change of plan,” his father replied.
“Your mother did want a baby, but now she wants a BMW.”
One evening a man was watching TV
The teacher asked the class to use the word
“The thrill is gone from my marriage,” Bill told his friend Doug.
Doug suggests, “Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?”
“But what if my wife finds out?” asks Bill.
“Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!” said Doug.
So Bill went home and said, “Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together.”
“Forget it,” said his wife.
“I’ve tried that it didn’t work.”
There was a man sitting at a bar
A taxi passenger tapped the driver
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
“Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?”
When Mary didn’t stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her,
took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
“God Almighty!” shouted Mary and the teacher said,
“Very good” and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, “Who is our Lord and Savior?”
But Mary didn’t even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
“Jesus Christ!” shouted Mary
and the teacher said, “Very good,”
and Mary fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question,
“What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?”
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time Mary jumped up and shouted,
“If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half!”
The Teacher fainted.
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady
A man decides to take the opportunity
Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, “Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife?”
Thomas replied, “Actually, I’ve found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them.”
His friend thinks for a moment and says, “I’ve got the perfect solution, just find a girl who’s just like your mother.”
A few months later they meet again and his friend says,
“Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?”
With a frown on his face, Thomas answers,
“Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much.”
The friend said, “Then what’s the problem?”
Thomas replied, “My father doesn’t like her.”
One day he rushes into a lawyer
The junior executive had been complaining
A husband a doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, ‘And you are no good in bed either,’ and storms out of the house.
After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up.
She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says,
‘What took you so long to answer to the phone?’
She says, ‘I was in bed.’
‘In bed this early, doing what?’
‘Getting a second opinion!’
A Husband and wife are shopping
A wife prepared special dinner for her husband
A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the rubber pack display.
Boy: “Dad, why do they do packs of one protection?”
Dad: “Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights.”
Boy: “So, why do they make packs of three?”
Dad: “For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights.”
Boy: “Then why do they make packs of 12?”
Dad: “Those are for married couples you know, January, February, March.”
A man runs to the doctor
Two couples go on vacation together
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle.
For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant’s tail, really hard.
Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river.
The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle.
“Why did you do that?” the giraffe asks.
“When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason,” the elephant replied.
“Wow! You must have a good memory!” exclaimed the giraffe.
“Yep!” said the elephant.
“I’ve got Turtle-Recall.”
Alan’s wife called him as he was at pub
A woman noticed a dog ad in the local newspaper
An old man notices that his wife is having trouble hearing.
He tries telling her to go for a hearing test, but she won’t hear of it.
He decides to prove to her there’s something wrong with her hearing.
He goes upstairs, takes out a recorder, turns it on and, knowing she is in the kitchen, yells downstairs,
“Honey, what’s for supper?”
No answer. He goes downstairs and yells
“Honey, what’s for supper?” Still no answer.
He enters the living room and yells again, “Honey, what’s for supper?” No answer.
He even stands right outside the kitchen and yells, “What’s for supper?” and still, no answer.
Finally, he stands right behind her and asks, “Honey. What’s. For. Supper?!” and she turns around and says.
“Damnit Al, for the hundredth time, CHICKEN!!!”
The man gets up and goes to door
She saw her daughter with a vibrator
An elderly couple was driving across the country.
While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol.
“Ma’am, did you know you were speeding?” the officer said.
The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?”
“He said you were speeding!” the old man yelled.
The patrolman then asked, “May I see your license?”
The woman turned to her husband again, “What did he say?”
The old man yelled back, “He wants to see your license!”
The woman then gave the officer her license.
“I see you are from Arkansas,” the patrolman said. “I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen.”
The woman turned to her husband again and asked, “What did he say?”
The old man replied, “He said he knows you!”
A drunkard was brought to court
A husband visited a marriage counselor
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
Her mother asked, “How was the honeymoon?”
“Oh, Mum,” she replied, “the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic…”
Suddenly she burst out crying.
“But, Mum, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language things I’d never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me home…. Please Mum!”
“Sarah,” her mother said, “calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?”
“Please don’t make me tell you, Mum,” wept the daughter, “I’m so embarrassed, they’re just too awful! Come get me, please!”
“Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!”
Still sobbing, the bride said, “Oh, Mum, they were words like dust, wash, iron, cook!”
She is talking to her lawyer
A man and a woman were having drinks
Three women worked in the same office with the same female boss.
Each day, the boss left work early.
One day, the women decided that when the boss left they would leave too.
After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?
The brunette was thrilled to be home early.
She did a little gardening, had some playtime with her son and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.
The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband.
But when she got home, she heard a muffled noise coming from inside her bedroom.
Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss!
Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.
The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead said they planned to leave early again and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.
“No way,” she said, “I almost got caught yesterday!”
A co-worker told John
A female reporter was conducting an interview
A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a problem they had never told anyone else about.
The man approached his father one day before the wedding and told him about his problem.
His feet REALLY stunk, even if he washed them constantly, he was worried that this would scare off his new bride, so he needed a solution, fast.
His father pondered the situation and finally told his son to wear socks constantly (even to bed) and always wash his feet whenever he got a chance.
The son thought about this and went along happy.
The same day the young lady approached her mother and told her about her problem her morning breath was horrid.
Her mother reassured her and told her everyone had bad morning breath.
The young woman told her mother that this was not normal morning breath but easily the worst in the world.
The mother thinks about this and comes up with this bright idea.
She tells her daughter to get up earlier than everyone else and don’t say a thing, go make breakfast and then brush her teeth while the others are eating.
The young woman thinks and then runs off to get ready for the wedding, happy.
The couple is married and they are happy, him with his perpetual socks and her with her morning silences.
One morning about 5:30 am the young man wakes up to find one sock missing.
He starts rustling around in the bed looking for it, which of course wakes up his wife, who without thinking asks what’s wrong.
With a look of shock on his face the young man says, “OH MY GOD! You’ve swallowed my sock!”
The Elderly Couple Gets Stranded On Island
A Little Boy Goes To His Father And Asks
Ana sets up her friend Jenny for a blind date.
Before she goes out of her house, Jenny calls Ana, “Listen girl, my date’s here so I only have a minute. Call me after thirty minutes so I have an alibi in case it’s going bad and I have to bail. Okay? Thanks!”
After thirty minutes, Jenny was anxious to get that call from Ana.
As if on cue, the phone rings. After a quick and mum conversation, she puts the phone down and sighs, “I’m so sorry, but there’s been an emergency.
My sister is sick and I need to bring her to the hospital right now.
I have to go.”
With a big smile on his face, the date exclaimed, “No worries! In a few more minutes my dog was going to get run over by a bus.”
The English teacher called Peter
The teacher asked the students
A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light.
The driver is a real bast…, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation
The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer’s ancestry, make love orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.
The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.
When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an “AH” in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket.
He then hands it to.
The ‘violator’ for his signature.
The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the “AH” and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I’ll remember that you’re!”
Two months later they’re in court.
The ‘violator’ has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; “Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?”
Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant’s copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.”
Lawyer: “Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don’t normally make?”
“Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an “AH,” underlined..”
“What does the “AH” stand for, officer?”
“Aggressive and hostile, Sir.”
“Aggressive and hostile?”
“Yes, Sir.
“Officer, are you sure it doesn’t stand?”
Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.
Paddy’s friend is hit by a car
Test their skills in recognizing
A man and a woman were dating.
She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad.
In fact, he had never even seen her undressed.
One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits.
“I can’t stand it anymore,” she told him.
“Let’s play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I’ll remove one piece of clothing.
He enthusiastically agreed and speed up the car.
He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her T-shirt.
At 60 off came the pants.
At 65 it was her br** and at 70 her undergarment.
Now seeing her undressed for the first time and travelling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car.
He veered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree.
His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped.
She tried to pull him free but alas he was stuck.
“Go to the road and get help,” he said.
“I don’t have anything to cover myself with!” she replied.
The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes.
“You’ll have to put this between your legs to cover it up,” he told her.
So she did as he said and went up to the road for help.
Along came a truck driver.
Seeing a undressed, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story.
“My boyfriend! My boyfriend!” she sobs, “He’s stuck and I can’t pull him out!”
The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies, “Ma’am, if he’s in that far, I’m afraid he’s a goner!”
A young man asked an old rich man
There is a very special mirror
A Japanese, a Russian, a Filipino, and an American went to test the magic swimming pool
that turns the waters into any substance of your choice
if you shout it out loud enough before jumping in.
The Japanese threw his wooden sandals aside and ran towards the pool shouting “Sakeeee!!”
He landed happily in 5 feet of Japanese rice wine.
The Russian threw his AK-47 aside and ran to the pool screaming “Vodkaaaa!” as he lept in the air.
He happily swam and drank the purest Russian Vodka after.
The Filipino threw aside the banana he was eating and shouted “Lambanoggg!” as he somersaulted into the pool, landing in 5 feet of the best coconut wine.
The American threw his iphone aside and ran towards the pool but slipped on the banana peel before flailing into the pool screaming “Shittttt!”
A woman goes to the doctor looking fantastic
A man is lying on the beach and reply to hot girl
A frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and was told,
“You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you.”
The frog said, “That’s great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?”
“No,” said the psychic, “Next term — in her biology class.”
Mark showed up for work with two very red and sore ears.
“Gees, what happened to you??” asked Frank, a co-worker.
“I was watching TV by the tool board,” Mark replied
“The phone rang I picked up the tool instead, thinking it was the phone.”
“So, what happened to your other ear?” asked Frank.
“The guy called back.”
A police officer asks a thief
A artist asked the gallery owner
Becky was the manager of a jewelry store that catered to the rich of the rich in Boca Raton.
She was seeking a qualified person to fill the recently vacant position of salesperson.
Sarah, an outspoken older woman, comes in to interview for the position.
Becky looks at Sarah’s resume and notices that Sarah has never worked in jewelry before.
“If you don’t mind my saying so, for someone who has never worked in jewelry you certainly are asking a pretty high salary.
That’s chutzpah, wouldn’t you say?!?” asks Becky.
Sarah thinks for a moment.
“Well, I suppose I am,” replies Sarah, “but you must understand, the work is so much harder when you don’t know what you are doing.
Morris had died
A man drove past a traffic camera
Elsa, a 97 year old midwife, finally passed away after a long and happy life.
When she arrived at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter was standing there waiting for her.
He said, “Welcome, Elsa do you have a last wish before you enter paradise?”
“I do,” Elsa replied.
“I would like to return to Earth for a few minutes and for once in my life witness a birth where the father is the one who has to endure the pain of having a baby.”
St. Peter thought this was a reasonable request, so Elsa was sent back to Earth for a short while.
She found herself standing in the home of a woman who was just having a baby. While giving birth, the mother seemed to be in no pain whatsoever.
The midwife was curious to see how her husband was doing, but was surprised to see him calmly sitting on a chair by an open window, smoking his pipe.
“How are you feeling? Aren’t you in pain?” the midwife asked him.
“Oh no, I’m feeling great,” the husband replied.
“But I think we have to call for an ambulance our neighbor John is lying out there on the lawn screaming his head off!”
Two old Jewish men Sid and Abe
The coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players
A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport.
As she would need to wait for a long time, she decided to buy a book to read and a packet of cookies to snack on.
She sat down in an armchair in the VIP room of the airport to relax and read in peace.
A man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading when she took out the first cookie, the man took one also.
She felt irritated but said nothing.
She just thought: “What a nerve! If I wasn’t so nice, I would blacken his eye.”
For each cookie she took, the man took one too this was infuriating her but she didn’t want to cause a scene.
When only one cookie remained, she thought: “Aaah… What will this rude man do now?”
Then the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one-half that was too much!
She was really angry now.
In a huff, she took her book, the rest of her things and stormed off to the boarding place.
For the next hours, she found it hard to forget what happened.
She couldn’t even focus reading her book how dare that guy, right?
When she sat down in her seat on the plane, she looked into her purse to take out her reading glasses, and to her surprise, her packet of cookies was there, untouched and unopened.
She felt so ashamed.
She realized that she was wrong.
She had forgotten that her cookies were kept in her purse.
The man had divided his cookies with her, without feeling angered or bitter, while she had been very angry, thinking that she was dividing her cookies with him.
And now there was no chance to explain herself… nor to apologize have you ever lost your cool and then realized later that you were in the wrong?
I’m sure that most of us have let’s save ourselves some embarrassment and make sure that we are in possession of all of the facts before reacting.
There are four things you can never recover… The stone after the throw;
The word after it’s said; The occasion after the loss, and The time after it’s gone.
A beggar knocked at the door
A poor boy who was selling goods
One day, an elderly man Jimmy was walking down Main Street when he saw his old buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup.
Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.
“Bubba, where’d you get that truck?!”
“Mary gave it to me,” Bubba replied.
“She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?”
“Well, Jimmy, let me tell you what happened we were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere.
Mary pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive and headed into the woods.
She parked the truck got out, threw off all her clothes and said,
‘Bubba, take whatever you want.’ So I took the truck!”
“You’re a smart man, Bubba! Them clothes wound never fit you.”
Nasreddin Hodja was once brought
Two young guys appear in court
A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant, and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby all alone.
He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her, knowing that if she accepts it, she is his for the night.
The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying it is from the gentleman at a nearby table.
She looks at the the man, then at the wine and decides to send a note over to the man.
The note read: “For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants.”
The man, after reading this note, sends another note to her. It read:
“Just so you will know, I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850iL, and a Mercedes 560SEL in my garage, plus I have over twenty-million dollars in the bank. But, not even for a woman beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off my weapon. Just send the wine back.”
A female secretary was helping her boss
A guy meets a girl out at a nightclub
There are 2 different approaches for each loves.
For Males OBSERVATIONS
the eyes deviate slightly to the left indicating the Male is accessing the creative part of the brain
heart rate elevates in an attempt to support the strain of the creative effort
pupils constrict slightly instinctively in preparation for flight/fight response
sweat pores extend slightly to reduce heat and give the appearance of being cool CONCLUSION If all these match then the subject has a high probability of having lied in response to the question
For Females OBSERVATIONS
Is she breathing?
Is her mouth open and words are coming out of them? CONCLUSION she’s lying.
A guy and his wife go golfing
I’ve made a severe and continuous
A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 in the morning.
His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed.
He’s laying in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart.
His wife wakes up and asks, “What the hell was that?”
He replies, “Touchdown, I am winning 7 nothing.”
She thinks to herself “I’m gonna fix him.”
Then she lets one loose.
He yells at her, “What was that?”
She replies “Touchdown, tie score.”
Now he thinks, “I’m gonna fix her.”
He’s laying there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up.
He tries so hard he shits in bed.
The wife asks, “Now what the hell was that?”
He replied, “Half time, switch sides.”
A man had been drinking
A blonde was complaining to her friend
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good
Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”
Darryl and Harold were the best patients
During camouflage training
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
“What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room.
“Why are you down here at this time of night?”
The husband looks up, “Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?” he asks solemnly.
The wife is touched, thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive.
“Yes, I do,” she replies.
The husband pauses.
The words are not coming easily.
“Do you remember when your father caught us in the backseat of my car?”
“Yes, I remember,” says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues, “Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years!”
“I remember that too,” she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, “I would have gotten out today!”
Roger is a hard worker
Bob goes to see his friend Pete