A grad student, a postZdoc, and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.” “Me first Me first … Read more
Patient : “Doctor I keep hearing “The green, green grass of home” in my head. Doctor : “That’s called the Tom Jones Syndrome” Patient : “Is it common ?” Doctor : “It’s not unusual
An atom walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he’s seen his missing electron. “Are you sure she’s missing”, asks the bartender. “I’m positive”, replies the atom. (this is definitely a joke for science minded people only)
Two owls are playing in the final of the Owl Pool Championship. It comes down to the last frame. One of the owls is just about to play his shot, when his wing accidentally touches a ball. “That’s two hits,” says the other owl. “Two hits to who?” says the first.
A man walks into a bar and is about to order a drink when he notices Van Gogh playing the fruit machine. He calls over, “Hey, Van Gogh Want a drink?” and Van Gogh replies, “No thanks. I’ve got one ‘ere.”
there are these two sausages sizzling in a frying pan. the one turns to the other and says “gees, it’s hot in here” and the second one turns around and goes “AAAAH , a talking sausage”.
A piece of straight, clean string goes into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The barman serves the drink, the string downs it and walks out. Ten minutes later a dirty, twisted, ragged piece of string walks into the bar. “Here Z are you that piece of string that was here ten minutes … Read more
Did you hear about the iceZcream man, he was found dead in his iceZcream van, covered in chocolate sauce and hundredsZandZthousands? The police said that he had ?topped? himself.
An 8 year old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, “Daddy, what is sex?” The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. … Read more
Three budgies in a cage, one on the top perch, one on the middle and one on the bottom perch. Which Budgie owns the cage? The one on the bottom perch, the other two are on higher perches.