“It was a very sad day when I took my cat to the vet. The vet looked at me and said, “I’m afraid your cat won’t last long, it’s the big C…” “What? Cancer?” I replied. “No,” he answered, “curiosity.””
“The hedgehog made his way down to the riverbank and very slowly walked into the water. As it got deeper, he soldiered on, gasping for breath. Suddenly he disappeared under and was only just able to get back to the bank. After resting for 10 minutes, the hedgehog tried again, after going under twice more … Read more
“A dog goes into a telegram office and asks to send a message. “I want it to say ‘woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof’“ The man says, “You have paid 10 and only used 14 words. You can add another one at no extra charge.” The dog … Read more
“A feller was sitting on a park bench eating his lunch when an old lady with a poodle walked up. The dog was pestering the guy for some food, so he asks the old lady, “Is it ok if I throw him a bit?” She says, “Sure, go ahead.” The feller grabbed the dog by … Read more
“I’m having some problems with my new Staffordshire bull terrier – I rang the vet for some Advice. I explained he was brown, stupid, aggressive and liable to attack anyone for no good reason. The vet replied, “Muzzle ‘im?” “No,” I said, “I think he’s an atheist.””
The Erectus Trouserius (also known as the trouser snake) is the world’s most dangerous snake. Color varies, from pink to black. It is fang-less, average length is 5 to 9 inches depending on subspecies. Usually appears in bedrooms but found in unusual places at times. Attacks women in lower part of the abdominal area. It’s … Read more
“I decided to get my nephew a puppy for his birthday. As a surprise I decided to put it in a box, wrap it & put a bow on top to disguise the actual gift. Top tip: make sure the dog isn’t inside when putting air holes in the box with a screw driver. My … Read more
“A dog walks into a bar. The barman says, “Excuse me, but whose dog is this? The sign outside clearly says NO DOGS ALLOWED” The dog says, “Well, I’m not just any dog you know.” The barman says, “So what makes you so special?””
“A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking … Read more
“A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. … Read more