there are 3 wives who want to decide what to wear. first one says ,my husband has black hair I will wera black dree. second says my husband hair is grey and I will wear a grey dress and the third one gets worried and starts panicking. when asked she tells the other two that … Read more
a worried man goes to see his priest. “Father, I am worried. I think that my wife is trying to poison me.” Said the priest: “Hold on my son, let me talk to your wife and come back to see me tomorrow, then I shall be able to give you some advice.” The following day … Read more
A man walks into a bar and orders a pint. Then he hears little voices saying things like ‘Oooh, you look really nice’ and ‘That haircut really suits you’. He tells the barman about it who says ‘Just ignore it, it’s the peanuts, they’re complimentary’.
A blonde girl’s husband buys her a mobile phone. She takes it out and he decides to test it out. He phones her and she answers it. “It’s very good,” she says, “but how did you know I was at the hairdressers?”
A man walks into a bar and notices two pieces of beef nailed to the ceiling. He asks the barman why they’re there. “It’s a competition. If you can climb up there and get those bits of meat down you’ll get free drinks all night. But if you try and fail then you’ll have to … Read more
I was in the waiting room of my doctor’s office the other day when the doctor started yelling, “Typhoid Tetanus Measles “ I went up to the nurse and asked her what the hell was going on. She told me that the doctor liked to call the shots.
Two caterpillars were crawling along a leaf when a butterfly flew past overhead. One caterpillar turned to the other one and said: “You’ll never get me up in one of those things “
A shipwreck survivor washes up on the beach of an island and is immediately surrounded by a group of native warriors. “I’m done for”, the man cries in despair. “No you are not,” comes a booming voice from the heavens. “Listen carefully, and do exactly as I say. Grab the spear from the one who … Read more
While robbing a home, a burglar hears someone say, “Jesus is watching you.” To his relief, he realizes it is just a parrot mimicking something it had heard. The burglar asks the parrot, “What’s your name?” The parrot says, “Moses.” The burglar goes on to ask, “What kind of a person names their parrot Moses?” … Read more
a man walks into a shop and says “i’d like to buy a wasp, please.” the shopkeeper replies “i’m sorry, sir, we don’t sell wasps.” “but,” says the man “you have one in the window.”