From The Times: ‘A young girl, who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth, was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastZguard spokesman commented: “This sort of thing is all too common these days.”‘
A guy walks in to his psychiatrists office and says” Doc you got to help me, One night I dream I’m a tepee and the next night i dream that i am a wigwam.” The doctor say’s,” relax, you’re two tents.”
There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, “ATTENTION ALL” and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says” Excuse me, you just farted before my wife.” The drunks replies,” I’m sorry I … Read more
A length of Rope went into a bar, sat on a stool, and ordered a beer. The Bartender said, “We don’t serve Ropes here.” Dismayed and disappointed, the Rope went out and then got an idea. He stopped a man and asked, “Will you please tie a knot in me and separate my strands at … Read more
The man had gone to the dentist for his annual checkup. The dentist asked the man if he had been eating anything over the past few months that was not ordinarily in his diet. The man said, “Why yes, I have as a matter of fact. My wife developed a new receipt for hollandise sauce … Read more
a guy takes his nasty dog for a walk every night and manages to beat up another dog every night. one night while walking his dog he comes upon this guy walking a yellow dog, he unleases his nasty dog saying “go get him boy”, as he runs up to the yellow dog, the yellow … Read more
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.
A biology student had to write a computer program, but he had troubles to make it work. He asked his roommate, who was a computer science major, to look at his programm and tell him where the error is. The computer guy looked through the code for some time, then glanced desperately at his friend … Read more
A duck walks into a pharmacy. He says, “I’d like a chapstick.” The pharmacist hands him the chapstick and asks, “will that be cash or charge?” The duck replies, “just put it on my bill.”
A man ran into the house breathless and he said to his wife, “Honey, you should be so proud of me, I just saved $1.50 by not taking the bus, but I chased it all the way homeZ The wife replied, “You want a medal for that? You should have chased a cab and saved … Read more