A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring … Read more
Harold and Lloyd were speeding down the road when a cop pulled them over. “You were going eighty!” the officer yelled “Why so fast?” “We have a good reason,” Lloyd explained to the cop “Our brakes are no good so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!”
A man went to apply for a job After filling out his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome The employer said, “We have an opening for people like you.””Oh, that’s great,” the man exclaimed What is it?” The employer answered, “It’s called the door.”
A secretary goes to the company stockroom and requisitions a box of pens The clerk fumbles around for a bit and then hands her a box of ballpoints The secretary returns to her desk, takes out a new pen and begins to write The pen skips and then stops giving out any ink Frustrated, she … Read more
top ten sleeping at desk 10) “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” 9) “This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.” 8) “Whew! Guess I left the top off the Wite-Out You probably got here just in time!” 7) … Read more
From an article in the Wall Street Journal, about the Dutch firm that has been hired to manage the International Arrivals Building at New York’s John F Kennedy Airport: The tile under the urinals in the Arrivals Building has that familiar lemony tinge; rubber soles stick to it Over in Amsterdam, the tile under Schiphol’s … Read more
A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship landing in front of her An alien stepped out of the spaceship and started to pump gas into it The woman noticed the letters “U.F.O.” printed on the side of the ship She turned to the alien and asked “Does U.F.O stand for Unidentified Flying Object?” … Read more
There is a accordion player driving home from a late night gig Feeling tired, he pulls into a local store for some coffee While waiting to pay, he remembers that he locked his car doors but left the accordion in plain view on the back seat of his car! He rushes out only to realize … Read more
A plane was once flying over an island when the passengers heard the pilot’s voice: “Ladies & Gentlemen, if you look on the right side of the plane, you’ll see an engine on fire If you look on the left side, you’ll see a wing on fire And if you look down, you’ll see me … Read more
Juan Valdez names his mule after you. You chew on your roommate’s fingernails. You can jump-start your car without cables. You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in. You can’t remember your second cup. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. Starbucks has a … Read more