Three hicks were working on a telephone tower – Steve, Bruce and Jed. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, “Someone should go and tell his wife.” Jed says, “OK, I’m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I’ll do it.” Two hours later, he comes back … Read more
There was a guy in the middle of the desert and his car broke down He started walking and he came to a monastery, where he asked them if he could borrow a mule The monks lent him one, and they explained that you had to say “Thank the Lord!” to make it go and … Read more
A newspaper reporter went to interview an old man who was the last person in the county to have lived through the Civil War Thinking he had a story, the reporter started asking some questions “Sir, you have lived through the civil war and two world wars You have seen the invention of the automobile … Read more
A husband comes home early from work and catches his wife in bed with the mailman Before they notice him, he sneaks back into the hall, finds the mail bag, steams open the letters, inserts coupons from his rug-cleaning business and seals them back up. “Ha ha ha,” he snickers “That lazy mailman who is … Read more
“Jimmy,” says the teacher, “what would happen if the Third World War broke out?” “It would be a huge problem. There’d be another chapter in the history book to study.”
A state trooper spied a car puttering along at 22 MPH So he turned on his lights and pulled the driver over Approaching the car, he noticed that five old ladies were inside, and they looked wide-eyed and terribly pale. The driver pleaded with him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed … Read more
A Navy man and an Army man are driving opposite directions on a curvy mountain road. The army man hits a patch of sand, swerves, and nails the Navy man’s truck. They both exit their cars with no injuries, but their vehicles are ruined. Now, the rivalry between Army and Navy is well known, so … Read more
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? What happens if you get scared to death twice? If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? If you write a book about failure, and it doesn’t sell, is it … Read more
One sunny day a man decided to go jump from an airplane When he jumped there was good and bad news… Good news: He had a parachute Bad News: It didnt work Good News: There was a haystack down below Bad news: There was a pitchfork in the haystack Good News: He missed the pitchfork … Read more
