Get ready to laugh out loud with our hilarious jokes webpage! Discover a treasure trove of witty one-liners, clever puns, and side-splitting anecdotes that will keep you entertained for hours. From silly jokes to clever wordplay, our collection caters to all senses of humor
“I’ve been trying to teach my son the importance of honesty. Today when I came home I discovered that he had found my nail gun and destroyed my entire vinyl collection. I went up to his room and asked him if he knew who did it. “It was me, dad.” He replied. “Good son, and … Read more
Marathon runners cover over 26 miles in two hours, train for years and when they finish cannot breath and are bent double with pain. I, on the other hand, can spend the 2 hours in the pub drinking and smoking, yet walk out as right as rain. Therefore running is obviously bad for you.
Word of Advice for those people who make jokes about Walkers crisp bags having very few crisps in them. Don’t bother buying a Ryan air sick bag – they turn out to be even more disappointing.
“Top tip: If you have a paranoid friend and they leave their mobile lying around, pick it up and add little reminders like “I’m watching you” and “You’re not alone” to random dates. Epic lots!”
Am I the only one getting annoyed with all these jokes that relate directly to Sickipedia that become so popular? These jokes don’t work in the real world. Try telling a joke about data latency being too high after an awesome pedophile joke to all your friends at the pub. Your friends will hate you … Read more
BUS DRIVERS. If you see an attractive woman with a low cut top at the bus stop, accelerate and come to a halt 50 feet past the stop. You will then have a great view in your nearside mirror as she runs towards you. Finally, accidentally drop her change for a second look.
“In the news was a story that a boy died by walking in front of a moving train. The excuse is that he was listening to his ipod loud. The Family have urged people not to listen to iPods while outside “for your own safety”. Wouldn’t it be more constructive if she told people to … Read more
I drunk driver is stop for heading the wrong way on a oneZway street. The police officer asked the driver didn’t you see the arrows. The drink responds, “Arrows, I couldn’t even see the Indians.
“When getting into a fight in a pub, don’t concern yourself with ungentlemanly fisticuffs. First shout something innocuous at your opponent, to grab the pub’s attention. Then calmly walk to the door. There, turn around and in your loudest voice yell, “At least I’m not a pedophile.” The seed planted into everyone’s mind will do … Read more
I distinctly remember one time my parents talking to me down the phone and saying, if we throw cash away at you now, you’ll never know the value of money. But I still think it would’ve been nice for them to pay that ransom