A man walks into a bar and notices two pieces of beef nailed to the ceiling – Funny Jokes

A man walks into a bar and notices two pieces of beef nailed to the ceiling. He asks the  barman why they’re there. “It’s a competition. If you can climb up there and get those bits of  meat down you’ll get free drinks all night. But if you try and fail then you’ll have to … Read more

A shipwreck survivor washes up on the beach of an island and is immediately – Funny Jokes

A shipwreck survivor washes up on the beach of an island and is immediately  surrounded by a group of native warriors.  “I’m done for”, the man cries in despair. “No you are not,” comes a booming voice from the heavens.  “Listen carefully, and do exactly  as I say.  Grab the spear from the one who … Read more

While robbing a home, a burglar hears someone say – Funny Jokes

While robbing a home, a burglar hears someone say, “Jesus is watching you.” To his  relief, he realizes it is just a parrot mimicking something it had heard.  The burglar asks the parrot, “What’s your name?”  The parrot says, “Moses.”  The burglar goes on to ask, “What kind of a person names their parrot Moses?”  … Read more

A man took his dog to the vet.  “Sorry,” said the vet, “but your dog is dead” – Funny Jokes

A man took his dog to the vet.  “Sorry,” said the vet, “but your dog is dead”. Distraught  man asks the vet for a second opinionZZ the vet brings in the practice cat.  Cat sniffs aroundZZ no response from dog.  Vet says “sorry, but your dog is dead”.  Man insists on a third opinion,  so … Read more

Practical Joke: When you’re at work and bored out of your mind – Funny Jokes

“Practical Joke: When you’re at work and bored out of your mind, try this: Write a note to your boss saying that a Miss Hughes phoned and needs them to ring her back ASAP. Then scroll the number for either the local Dolcis, Barratts or Clarks down and watch their face when they look like … Read more