When someone next says to you – Funny Jokes
“When someone next says to you “See You Next Tuesday” ie C.U.N.T. acronym which is quite offensive – Reply “Tuesday, Wednesday And Thursday” ie T.W.A.T. acronym! You’ll have the last laugh!” acronym
“When someone next says to you “See You Next Tuesday” ie C.U.N.T. acronym which is quite offensive – Reply “Tuesday, Wednesday And Thursday” ie T.W.A.T. acronym! You’ll have the last laugh!” acronym
My son told me he’s been getting bullied at school. In preparation of dealing with the situation, he came to me for Advice. “Son”, I said. “The only thing I can say to you is look before you leap. Poor planning could leave you in a lot of pain. You need to land head-first for … Read more
Whenever you feel down just do what i do, scratch a scratch card near a homeless guy and then go nuts shouting you’ve won ten grand, once you see the look on their face you’ll instantly feel good again.
A man walks into a bar and notices two pieces of beef nailed to the ceiling. He asks the barman why they’re there. “It’s a competition. If you can climb up there and get those bits of meat down you’ll get free drinks all night. But if you try and fail then you’ll have to … Read more
I was in the waiting room of my doctor’s office the other day when the doctor started yelling, “Typhoid Tetanus Measles “ I went up to the nurse and asked her what the hell was going on. She told me that the doctor liked to call the shots.
Two caterpillars were crawling along a leaf when a butterfly flew past overhead. One caterpillar turned to the other one and said: “You’ll never get me up in one of those things “
A shipwreck survivor washes up on the beach of an island and is immediately surrounded by a group of native warriors. “I’m done for”, the man cries in despair. “No you are not,” comes a booming voice from the heavens. “Listen carefully, and do exactly as I say. Grab the spear from the one who … Read more
While robbing a home, a burglar hears someone say, “Jesus is watching you.” To his relief, he realizes it is just a parrot mimicking something it had heard. The burglar asks the parrot, “What’s your name?” The parrot says, “Moses.” The burglar goes on to ask, “What kind of a person names their parrot Moses?” … Read more
a man walks into a shop and says “i’d like to buy a wasp, please.” the shopkeeper replies “i’m sorry, sir, we don’t sell wasps.” “but,” says the man “you have one in the window.”
A man took his dog to the vet. “Sorry,” said the vet, “but your dog is dead”. Distraught man asks the vet for a second opinionZZ the vet brings in the practice cat. Cat sniffs aroundZZ no response from dog. Vet says “sorry, but your dog is dead”. Man insists on a third opinion, so … Read more